Anonymous Mailbag

It’s Tuesday, time for the anonymous mailbag. Send your anonymous mailbag questions to claytravis@gmail.com, anonymity guaranteed.

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Okay, on to the mailbag.

“Who would you vote for in the Alabama senate race Roy Moore or Doug Jones? I am a college student at UAB and torn between the two because of Jones’ democratic views but Moore’s allegations.”

I got tons of questions about this in today’s mailbag because the election is happening as many of you are reading this today. And it’s a testament to how controversial this voting decision has become that everyone wanted to ensure their name wasn’t used in the question at all.

So let me break it down for you as I see it.

And, as always, I trust you guys intelligence so I try not to tell you how to ever vote. You’re all smart, you can make your own decisions.

Okay, the moment this story broke my first thought was this — the timing seems suspect. Why didn’t The Washington Post, a newspaper I loved reading every day while I was in school in Washington, D.C., break this news during the Republican primary campaign? That was a hard fought, knock out, drag out contest, right? If Luther Strange wins that primary then he wins this general election with ease. And I think it’s fair to say that Luther Strange would have won the Republican primary — he lost 38% to 32% — if this story had come out then.

Now I understand the Washington Post will say the story wasn’t ready then as their defense, but I totally get the thoughts of many Republicans in Alabama that this story is a political rig job. They feel like this is a set up because a liberal newspaper suddenly breaks a forty year old sex story that indisputably gives a long shot Democratic candidate a chance to win a general election he would have had no chance of otherwise winning.

If it’s a story worthy of writing during the general election campaign, why wasn’t it also a story worthy of writing during the Republican primary.

Especailly when that longshot candidate wouldn’t just change the Senate party in Alabama, it would also go a long way towards giving Democrats control of the Senate during Donald Trump’s administration. Plus, even if Doug Jones losesthis story raises all the issues about Donald Trump’s past issues with women and paints the Republicans as an antediluvian party that is bad on women’s rights issues, which will be one of the top arguments Democrats make in 2018.

So this story only benefits Democrats from every conceivable angle that you want to examine.

Here’s my other big issue —  is Moore’s interest in teenage girls in the 1970’s really a valid story when he’s been married since 1985 and has four adult children? Remember, the age of consent in Alabama is 16. So while it may seem creepy for a single guy in his 30’s to be interested in teenage girls — and try to pick them up at malls — it wasn’t illegal provided both parties consented. What’s more there’s no suggestion that this behavior has continued since he got married back in 1985. So if Roy Moore has been a faithful husband to his wife for the past 32 years, isn’t that better than we can say about most politicians of both parties?

Now, allegations of non-consensual sexual activity with girls under 16 are obviously seriously problematic — and potentially criminal if proven — but they are just that — allegations. And forty year old allegations at that. Should Roy Moore have to suspend his 2017 Senate campaign because of forty year old unproven allegations? I don’t blame him for continuing to campaign, I would have too.

Furthermore, there are literally dozens of controversial opinions Roy Moore has had over his forty years as a public figure in the state of Alabama. If you wanted to vote against Roy Moore there are many reasons why it would make sense to vote against him that have nothing to do with forty year old sex allegations.

So personally I’d be more troubled by the things we know Moore did as a political figure than I would be about these allegations that he may or may not have done. If you were going to vote for him before these allegations, then I’d probably still vote for him. And if you were going to vote against him before these allegations then I’d certainly still vote against him.

Essentially I’d rather make my vote based on things I know to be 100% true than things that may be false.

Now I certainly understand if you were totally undecided between voting for the Republican or the Democratic candidate before this story broke and this story was the tipping point that made your decision for you, but how many people are actually in that camp? I’d say hardly anyone.

As always, regardless of your political opinions, exercise your franchise right and get out and vote if you’re down in Alabama today.

“My friends and I have had a serious debate and need the final ruling from the king of the Internet.

As most guys do, we get together and go downtown from time to time. The bars close at 2 a.m. which means a trip to the local strip club is undeniable, seeing as they stay open till the sun comes up.

Once we get to the strip club, we all just do our own thing, get dances at the stage, drink more, and take girls in the back for private 1 on 1 dances.

On our way home this past weekend, one of our friends starts talking about a girl he took back for a 1 on 1 dance and how good she was. He said it was the fastest he has ever got off in his pants from a dance.

Me and my friends immediately stopped and said, we don’t get off from the dances, and our friend insists that getting off from a dance is perfectly normal, and in fact a compliment to the dancer.

Have I been doing these dances wrong all along? Should I kick back, relax, and get my 3 minute dance with a happy ending ? Or is it completely disgusting and inappropriate to get off? Please enlighten us!”

Your friend may be a psychopath.

I have never heard of anyone getting off from a lap dance without physical contact between his penis and a stripper’s body. Much less bragging about it.

This most assuredly is not common behavior and your friend is not, in any way, giving the stripper a compliment by doing this.

At all.

Do you really think strippers go back to the dressing room and brag about the guys they got off via dry humping them on a lap dance?

Uh, no.

They, like everyone reading this, think your friend is a creepy loser.

…

Send your anonymous mailbag questions to claytravis@gmail.com, anonymity guaranteed.

Hope y’all have great Tuesdays.