Videos by OutKick
It’s Tuesday, which means it’s time for me to solve all the problems in the Outkick universe for you guys.
As always, send your anonymous mailbag questions to firstname.lastname@example.org, anonymity guaranteed.
Okay, here we go:
“I’m in my early 20s and just moved to a new city. I was out last Saturday at a bar watching football with a few people I had met since I moved. One of the girls I was with invited a friend that had also just moved, and the one open seat at the table was obviously right next to me.
Her friend arrived and she was absolutely gorgeous. Of course, I had to strike up a conversation with her. We ended up talking for about 30 minutes until we both ended up leaving the bar. We had a great conversation, but all I got from her was a name, no number.
When I got home Saturday night I looked her up on social media and found her accounts. My question is, is it creepy if I DM her on Instagram asking for her number? I don’t want to come off as a creep after only talking to her for 30 minutes, but at the same time I didn’t know when we would be leaving the bar, and I would’ve asked her for her number had I stayed longer.”
I don’t think that’s creepy at all. I’m also assuming you’ve done enough scanning of her profile to verify she doesn’t have a boyfriend. Or at least not a current boyfriend.
She will definitely assume someone told you her full name and you looked her up online and shot her a DM. There’s nothing creepy about any of this.
I’d write something simple in your DM, “Fun hanging out with you on Saturday. (Make a simple joke or reference to something you talked about in the half hour together here.) You watching games again this weekend? If so, let’s hang again. I’m (insert your number here.) Shoot me a line.”
If she texts you, she’s definitely interested. If she responds to your DM without texting you and says she’s busy, she’s probably not interested. If she responds to the DM in a somewhat favorable way, but doesn’t text you, she might be interested. And if she never responds to your DM, she’s definitely not interested.
Regardless, there’s no harm in shooting her a DM and what do you lose in the process? Just don’t overdo it. Follow the template I laid out above.
And good luck.
“What do you think about the Urban Meyer videos from the bar over the weekend? He’s apologized for his behavior, but is this a story or not? Also, I need a play by play on what he could have done when the blonde starts grinding on him?”
As soon as I saw the video, like all of you, I knew Urban was in trouble.
My first thought was his wife is gonna be PISSED. My second thought was how if Urban’s single or divorced, everyone thinks it’s awesome. (If Lane Kiffin beats Arkansas this weekend and the same video comes out, Lane’s a legend and Ole Miss kids are wearing tshirts with the picture on it for the next home game. Yes, age factors in here, but I think it’s primarily being single. I mean, if Miss Terri left Nick Saban and shortly thereafter this video came out with Saban at the bar getting grinded on, everyone would love it.)
So those were the first two things I thought.
But then I looked at the video and thought on it some more and realized Urban is like the fourth most responsible person here in the video related story. Even though he’ll get all the blame.
Let me explain my rationale here.
The first most responsible person is the girl. She knows Urban is married. He’s sitting on a stool at the bar. It doesn’t appear he ever approached her. She came up to him and started grinding on him. How many guys, married or otherwise, know what to do when a smoking hot blonde just starts grinding on you and you’ve done absolutely nothing to show you you’re interested? Clearly, Urban could have pushed her away — and maybe he even did — but if you’re drunk on a barstool and a hot chick starts grinding right in front of you, you’re in a tough spot and it’s unlikely that you’d immediately pull away from her.
Probably the best move for Urban would have been to tap her on the shoulder, point to his wedding ring, say thanks but no thanks, and then turn around and face the other direction. Sure, she can keep grinding him, but then she’s on his backside.
Maybe he did this, we don’t know.
But, regardless, it’s not like Urban sought this girl out. She created this situation. And she did it because he’s famous. Maybe she did it trying to go viral and was in cahoots with the person filming. Can you see a hot drunk girl at the bar saying, “I’m going to go grind on Urban Meyer because he never lost to Michigan and I love Ohio State. Film me!”
I can 100% see this happening. In fact, I think it’s probably the most likely scenario here. So she put this entire process in play and is the most responsible.
The second most responsible person here is the person who filmed it. Hooray, you have a video going viral that catches a few seconds of a larger night’s activities. I personally think it’s a jerk move to pull out your phone and record a stranger inside of a bar, famous or otherwise, without their consent to being filmed. Granted, Urban Meyer should probably expect this — in this day and age if you’re a public figure I think you have to expect everything you do in a public bar will get recorded and I’m way less famous than Urban — but it’s still crappy. Especially because, again, we don’t know the full context of the video or what happened before or after it all started.
The third most responsible people here are the people who tag the Jags or Urban’s wife as soon as they see the video. Seriously, how much of a dickhead do you have to be to see this video and then tag Urban’s wife or his employer on social media, which thousands of people did. To me, this is an example of how social media has completely broken basic human relationships. What percentage of those thousands of people who behaved this way on social media would ever tell someone’s wife or employer about an incident like this if they actually witnessed it in person? Almost none of them. Maybe none of them at all. Yet you do it on social media immediately upon seeing the video? The reason why videos like these get taken is because of the social media reaction. So ask yourself, would I behave like this in real life? If the answer is no, why are you doing it online?
In fourth place, I’d put Urban Meyer himself. Primarily because we don’t know what actually transpired here since we only see a portion of the video, presumably the most salacious part of the night. Once a hot blonde started grinding on him, what options did Urban have? Especially if, as seems likely, he was pretty drunk and not reacting that quickly. (You can criticize Urban for getting drunk in a public bar, but how many people reading this have never been drunk in a public bar?) Obviously the easiest thing to do is just push the girl away, but even that isn’t particularly easy to do without creating a scene. If you push her away too aggressively and she trips and falls in her heels because she’s drunk, now you’ve assaulted a girl at a bar. (Which might also be on video.) You’re just kind of trapped here and at the mercy of the twenty or thirty seconds of video.
Which is why lots of famous people just don’t do out in public very much, if at all.
I’m not sure there’s ever been a worse time to be famous than right now. Back in the day before phones and cameras, you could live a relatively normal life if you were famous. Now if you’re famous everyone documents everywhere you go and everything you do.
Which is why lots of places that have lots of famous people inside have a no phones policy.
Just to allow people to live normal life without the possibility of everything going viral.
I think, increasingly, people are going to be adopting phone free vacations. In fact, I’m thinking about trying one of my own this winter just after Christmas. I’ll leave my phone in the hotel at the start of the day and check it, maybe, at night before bed. But be unreachable all day long. I’m not sure I can pull it off, but it sounds pretty awesome.
And I bet it sounds great for a lot of you reading this right now too.
Essentially I think we’ve all added a massive amount of technology to our lives without really considering how that would change our lives.
“I’m going to a wedding this weekend for one of my best friends. I’m going to be a groomsman. Everyone is looking forward to having a great time.
This morning, my fiancee and I receive a text from the soon to be wife. Long story short, she is asking that we get a negative covid test since she knows we are unvaccinated. I let her know I wouldn’t do that, and gave her some reasons why. I also doubt she will be asking 150 other people if they are vaccinated or not.
An important note here, her soon to be husband just had covid, and he’s fully vaccinated! He got it from another friend of ours, who is fully vaccinated. I did not get it, although I was exposed to them and I’m unvaccinated. I just feel like none of this is based in science, rather it’s based on emotional and political feelings. I’m basing my response in science, data, and real life experience.
My fiancee thinks I should cave in on this and get a test. Do you think I should cave or should I stand my ground here?”
I’d get the test even though I agree with you that it’s pointless.
Because your buddy is married to this woman forever, at least in theory, and she will never forget you refusing to get the test for her wedding after she asked you to do so. The fact that she personally asked you means your buddy probably wasn’t willing to do it himself. That means there was probably some form of fight over this issue and she finally said, “He’s your friend, but if you won’t do it, I’ll do it myself!”
So she did it.
And then you refused to get a test and now she’s left without any great options. Sure, she can refuse to allow you to attend the wedding, but is she willing to do that and keep one of her fiance’s groomsmen from attending the wedding with his girlfriend? On the other hand if she doesn’t do anything, you’ve called her bluff and she’s been fighting her fiance for no reason.
Which brings me back to my original position here: she’s not ever going to forget this. You and your buddy are going to want to do things in the future together and she’s far less likely to agree to that if she’s still holding a grudge against you. (Spoiler alert: women hold grudges that last forever. She will never forget this.)
In the future, long after covid is forgotten, this woman will still hold this against you.
The test takes a few minutes and costs virtually nothing.
If you choose to get the test now and go back to her and say, “You know what, it’s your wedding day and I don’t want you worried about anything you don’t have to worry about. So we went ahead and got tested,” then you’ve managed to be the hero here and you can cash in on this generosity at some point in the future.
Getting tested, even if it’s pointless, is the right play here.
Added bonus: you get to tell your fiancee that you thought about the decision and ultimately ended up agreeing with her advice. You can tell your fiancee, “You know what you were right, I was wrong on this. Thanks for helping me make the right decision.”
Important life lesson here. Women like being right, but they LOVE EVEN MORE WHEN THEIR HUSBANDS OR BOYFRIENDS ADMIT THEY WERE WRONG.
So you get to make two women happy with one action that doesn’t even take very much effort on your part. This is a huge win for you. You’ve inadvertently played this into a double checkmate win while pretending you lost.
As an added bonus you get to enjoy the special, crazy wedding drunken wedding night sex from your fiancee because you’ve demonstrated how mature you are by getting a covid test.
“Clay – big fan of the mailbag, and after seeing your Twitter interaction with Mark Cuban tonight, I wanted to submit my first ever “question.”
Yesterday, season ticket holders received an email regarding the Mavericks vaccine mandate/negative test plan for the upcoming season.
Coincidentally, when I received the email I was at a lab getting blood drawn for an antibody test for other reasons. I recently had covid (confirmed by a test the first week of August – I had almost no symptoms but was a close contact and was about to go on a trip) and therefore have not received the vaccine. The results came back (see attached screenshot) and my antibody level is >20, which is as high as the test goes. I’m not anti-vax, and if my antibody levels were below 1.0, I would get it.
I couldn’t have related to Orlando Magic player Jonathan Isaac any more during his press conference this week. I’ve had covid, I have antibodies (confirmed), and it’s not something that I am worried about. I am in my late 20’s, and although not in the same shape as an NBA player, I hoop at a local LA fitness and could definitely make a 40 yard field goal.
Luckily, since I live in Texas, my life hasn’t changed much the past 18 months. However, getting tested before Mavericks games is going to be quite the inconvenience. The games are fun and with the team having the best young star in the league, I want to continue going.
My question to you is – why can’t my results act as a “covid passport” to prove I have natural immunity? The results are time stamped, and I would gladly do that again in a couple months vs getting a vaccine I don’t need. I feel like there should be a bigger push for this instead of forcing a vaccine (or in this specific case, getting tested before every game), especially considering the upcoming boosters everyone will be getting.
I know you’ll agree with me because you actually analyze data and understand that my risk is extremely low, but why can’t the people pushing the vaccine understand this? Covid will be around forever, and I’d rather have mild symptoms when the antibodies wear off vs risking side effects from a vaccine (albeit low).”
I agree with everything you wrote here and this was my argument with Mark Cuban on Twitter last week.
Cuban is requiring all Dallas Mavericks game attendees to either have proof they’ve received the vaccine or get a negative test to enter the arena. In so doing Cuban is selling the illusion of safety and virtue while providing neither to his customers.
Given that we know a large number of vaccinated people are still spreading covid, being vaccinated for covid doesn’t protect everyone in the arena from getting covid. In fact, the Israeli data makes it quite clear that people like you — and me — who have had covid and recovered from it have much greater protection from reinfection than the average person.
So if the Mavs were truly following the science why wouldn’t they allow you to present your positive antibody test as opposed to a vaccine proof or a negative test?
Mind you, I reject the idea of requiring a covid vaccine or a negative test because I think it’s pointless. In Cuban’s own city right now the Dallas Cowboys are having 100,000 people attend football games with no requirement of any covid vaccine or negative test. And since football season started far from covid “feasting” on packed stadiums full of fans as Dr. Fauci predicted would happen, rates of covid infection have plummeted across Dallas and all throughout Texas. So there’s no indication that indoor sporting events are superspreader events in the first place.
Plus, no American sports team, to my knowledge, has ever required proof of vaccination for any disease to attend games in the past.
Look, Mark Cuban is clearly a smart guy and a wildly successful businessman. I respect his hard work and his embrace of capitalism and I think if we set down and had some beers together we’d probably agree on a lot of subjects. But this Mavs policy is virtue signaling masking as science. It’s complete garbage and there are massive loopholes here which will ensure that people with covid are regularly attending Mavs games. Plus, is Cuban going to require boosters? Is he going to require his arena attendants to check IDs to ensure that those over the age of 65 are fully vaccinated with their latest booster updates? And how long will this policy be in place? For years into the future? Covid isn’t going away and neither are covid booster shots.
All of this — the masking, the social distancing — is just cosmetic theater for dumb people. It has no impact on stopping the spread of covid. Just look at the most recent data from Los Angeles. LA County mandated masks, Orange County didn’t. The two counties ended up with nearly identical infection rates.
Look at New Zealand, the patron saint country of lockdown adherents. They just announced they were ending their lockdowns because they weren’t working. After 18 months they’ve essentially admitted their policy failed.
Furthermore, let’s talk about actual vaccination rates — 94% of people over the age of 65 have gotten the covid vaccine. 77% of people 18 and up have gotten the vaccine and 76% of people 12 and up have as well. Of those remaining 24% of people 12 and up who haven’t gotten the vaccine, what percentage of them do you think are people like me who have natural immunity? I’d bet it’s a huge percentage. That is, we need to be talking about those with covid antibodies and those without covid antibodies as opposed to just focusing on the vaccinated and the unvaccinated.
As is, I’d bet 90% of Americans, at least, have either vaccinated or natural immunity.
Yet covid cases are still high.
What does that tell us? Covid is going to become like the flu, it will be endemic. It’s never going away. So at what point do we tell the terrified people out there that their fears can no longer restrict the freedoms of the rest of us?
I think we should be way past that point, honestly.
Which is why when I see policies like those being implemented by the Mavs, and many other teams, I just roll my eyes.
The team is selling safety and virtue to their fans while providing neither.
Which perfectly encapsulates our modern era of covid insanity.
As always send your anonymous mailbag questions to email@example.com, anonymity guaranteed.