“About a month ago my friend, his girlfriend, and I moved into an apartment together. I was hesitant about it, but didn’t think it would cause any real issues, since it’s a 2 bed 2 bath apartment with the rooms on completely different sides of each other. I would have my get away from them, and vise versa, if necessary.
Their bedroom has the bathroom attached, as my bathroom is directly across the hall from my bedroom. I have a Sports Illustrated cover poster of Kate Upton from the 2013 swimsuit edition. As a believer in the first amendment and boobs (especially Kate Upton’s), I decided to put up the poster in what I think is my bathroom to be humorous and probably take it down in a week (or when a girl comes over). Well the next day my friend tells me that she is mad that I put up the poster in the “guest bathroom.” She wants me to take it down because it’s “horn doggish” and doesn’t think it’s appropriate for when we have guests over. Obviously, my friend is siding with her, and I can’t fault him since she holds the key to the castle.
I’ll admit, it leans a little juvenile to have that poster up in a bathroom as a 23 year old. However, with them telling me to take it down, I’m going to keep it up just to prove a point.
I feel that it will give her more control than she should have over the apartment. Furthermore, this is when I turn to the almighty King Solomon of the internet, we split the rent evenly amongst the three of us. If the bathroom is indeed the “guest bathroom” and not my bathroom, as I thought from the beginning, than they (she) has more control of the apartment. In that case, shouldn’t they have to pay more, subsequently, they have 1.5 bathrooms and I have 0.5 of a bathroom? My friend claims that it evens out since they share a room, but I told him they agreed to be one when they decided to move in together.”
This is a tough one.
Especially since this girlfriend didn’t even tell you, a roommate, about her issue with your poster, but asked her boyfriend to do it instead. If she’s truly bothered by it shouldn’t she tell you herself? After all, you’re all three roommates.
I do agree, however, that you’re getting a pretty good deal here since you get a full bedroom to your own, but only have to pay for 1/3rd of a two bedroom. But this bathroom is also your possession, not just the guest bathroom so I understand your position that you should be able to decorate it however you see fit.
Plus is it really that controversial to have a Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue cover up? I mean, they sell millions of those a year. On the other hand, if you really like the picture, why not put it up in your actual bedroom instead of the bathroom?
Here’s how I think you should solve it. You agree to take the picture down, but in exchange this girl agrees to set you up with her hottest friend she thinks might be willing to sleep with you.
Viola, everybody wins.
“I work for a large investment firm in the Midwest. Yesterday, I was taking a dump in an unfamiliar building (we have 12) when I heard the sound of high heels clicking on the tile. Then I heard voices…women’s voices. So what did I do? Wiped as quickly as possible, pulled my pants up and lifted my legs so no one fainted when they saw my damn shoes.
Then came the revolving door. Women entered and exited for what seemed like an eternity. Every time I thought I had a window to escape, another butt-clinching female waltzed in to relieve herself.
Finally, after feeling like Anne Frank hiding in the annex, I bent over to scan the floor for feet and made a mad dash to the door. I was free!
Except as soon as I opened the door, there was a crowd of people chatting by the drinking fountains. Some laughed, a few looked concerned, others disgusted. So I bolted, abandoned my laptop in the nearby conference room, and damn near jogged to the elevators. Luckily, I didn’t recognize anyone, but I’m inevitably going to run into one of them at some point.
Did I do the right thing?”
Man, this is a great question, my inclination is to announce myself and get out of there as quickly as possible.
Honesty would work pretty well in a situation like this because it’s not uncommon to do. (Although, am I correct that men seem to accidentally go into women’s bathrooms way more often than women go into men’s? Is it because women are more careful about these things or because they can immediately see the urinals and know they went to the wrong bathroom?)
Anyway, if you say, “Sorry, sorry, I’m an idiot, I went to the wrong bathroom,” and then walk out and explain to anyone nearby that you were looking at your phone and just went into the wrong bathroom, I think most people forgive you and it’s not a very big deal.
But the longer you stay in the bathroom hoping to sneak out without being seen, the worst the potential outcome.
Because what happens if, for instance, someone looks in the stall opening and sees a dude in the women’s bathroom with his feet up in the air trying to avoid being seen. My first thought if I’m a woman seeing that isn’t that this is a guy who went to the wrong bathroom, it’s that you’re a total pervert who likes to hear women use the bathroom and have been sitting in there jerking off all day. (By the way, this is another huge fear of women’s, that men realize they have to go to the bathroom too. Women dread pooping anywhere near men they have just begun dating.)
I might scream or summon security and then you have to explain why you’ve chosen to remain hidden in a stall in the wrong bathroom.
So I’d probably just publicly announce my error and walk out. You don’t get entirely away with it, but you limit the downside.
“For the past 10 years I have been more or less 100% invested in building my company. And guess what? It’s worked! We are really successful and I’m worth a ton of money! (I appreciate how much you embrace your success – I can’t really do that, as it would turn off the people we work with, but it would be nice to from time to time).
Anyway, having a meaningful relationship has been hard if not impossible – you know the entrepreneurial grind so I won’t bore you with the details.
The past 4 years have been uniquely busy for me and when my travel schedule went nuts I decided that it was going to be unrealistic to pursue a relationship. But things are starting to slow down in a really good way (more staff, possible exit, etc) so now I need your help deciding where I should invest my dating time/resources.
I feel like my success warrants me dating/marrying a 24-28 year old (I’m 37). But it’s easier to meet and connect with women my age. Some of whom who have kids from previous relationships.
So where should I invest my dating time/interest?
Pro: Hot, not as much of a rush to have kids
Cons: Havent connected mentally/friendship with any so far and harder for me to meet
Pro: Easy to meet and connect with over similar life positions
Cons: Not as hot, more of a rush to have kids
Other background info- I am in the south, so people get married really young, so if I eventually moved to a coast, it wouldn’t be as abnormal for me to be a single male at 37.
Additionally, I like kids and definitely want them. Not opposed to dating/marrying someone with kids so long as there isn’t baby daddy drama.
I no longer drink so I’m not a candidate for “just go out and blow through as many chicks as possible until you find the right one” as that’s something for someone with a more active nightlife. I’m not boring or lame by any means (i.e. I stay out late and go to clubs when in Vegas, Miami, etc) but my method of meeting women is more deliberate and less sloppy luck.
I feel like you are a good person to answer this question – imagine being you where you are right now but with way less visibility in the public. What would you do?”
Effectively what you’re looking for is a life partner now.
This means you’re every woman’s dream, rich, mid to late 30’s, looking for kids and commitment. Most single guys in their twenties and thirties are poor, looking for sex, don’t want to get married and haven’t spent that much time even thinking about whether they truly want kids.
With that in mind, you are such a tremendous catch that I’d date widely because your options are going to be fantastic. In general I’d look younger because you want kids — and maybe multiple kids — but I wouldn’t make age my primary consideration.
Personally, I also wouldn’t want to date a woman who was already married with kids. You say you don’t want ex-husband drama, but you’ve got it for the rest of your life once there’s a divorce if there are kids involved. Whatever happens with that ex-husband for the rest of his life is directly connected to your family forever. Now if someone got married when they were 23 or 24 and got divorced a few years later and has no kids, that’s a different story. That’s basically like a break up. That’s why I encourage people who have bad marital relationships not to have kids in an effort to make the relationship stronger. That’s like pouring kerosene on a fire in an effort to make the fire go out.
Now if you were already divorced with kids yourself it could make total sense to date a woman with kids, but you’re single and never married. There are tons of single and never married women without kids or prior relationship drama and that’s who your target should be.
Since you don’t know many women I’d set up online profiles on multiple sites and weed out women based on emails and interaction before we even got to dating. For instance, I wouldn’t date a woman who uses the wrong your or the wrong its in an email. Boom, she’s gone. That may be tough, but it’s a rough approximation of intelligence and you’ve got to find a way to weed out all the women who will be chasing you.
Honestly, I bet there are a thousand or more women reading this mailbag answer right now begging for your email address. You have what every woman is looking for — be selective.
And good luck.
Send your anonymous mailbag questions to claytravis@gmailcom, anonymity guaranteed.