Per Google: America Hates Everyone, Especially the Sports Media

Yesterday a reader emailed me a fun story about the most common word searched in relation to a state. (Thanks Andrea). 

Simply search any state with this phrase, "Why is (insert state here) so," and allow Google autocorrect to fill in the most common answer. 

The South does not fare well. 

Arkansas, Kentucky, and South Carolina are all poor and Louisiana and Tennessee are racist. Alabama, perhaps benefiting from a run of football dominance, gets "good."

These results get even more fun when you add in football. "Why is Kentucky football," leads to an autofill of "so bad?"

Stop laughing, Tennessee fans, it happens for y'all too. 

I love picturing the kind of person who is searching for life's answers on Google, but it also got me wondering, what does autofill look like for me and others? Are Internet searchers really this mean? So I went to Google and put in, "Clay Travis is..." and four top results popped up:

1. an idiot

2. a douche

3. a moron

4. a troll 

Google searchers hate me. 

Which I found hysterical.

But was it just me or do Google searchers hate everyone?  So I immediately started plugging in other members of the sports media to see what their results were. 

Did Google autofill like anyone?

I first put in Jason Whitlock, who is one of my favorite columnists to read, because I figured he'd get lit up by Google. 

I was right. 

Jason Whitlock is:

1. a racist

2. a moron

3. an idiot

4. a big fat idiot

Oh, this was going to be fun. 

How about Darren Rovell is:

1. the worst

2. a racist

3. a douche

4. an idiot

What about my favorite guy in all of sports media, Tony Kornheiser?

Tony Kornheiser is...

1. a douchebag

2. Bill Simmons uncle

3. a brony

4. back

A brony! (That's a man who likes "My Little Pony.")

Well if Bill Simmons is included in Tony Kornheiser's searches, what about Simmons, the most read columnist on the Internet?

Bill Simmons is...

1. a joke

2. awful

3. a jerk 

4. a moron

What about my buddy Paul Finebaum?

1. an idiot

2. a racist

3. a douche

4. a jerk

What about my favorite college football announcer, Uncle Verne Lundquist:

1. terrible

2. an idiot

3. a douche

4. horrible

Okay, so Uncle Verne gets roasted, how about Kirk Herbstreit, a guy I've heard very little criticism of?

Kirk Herbstreit is:

1. he married

2. an idiot

3. a douche

4. a whining little girl 

Let's try some coaches. 

How about Nick Saban?

1. the devil

2. a jerk

3. a liar

4. from

"Nick Saban is the devil." is the top result!

Les Miles is...

1. an idiot

2. a moron

3. crazy

4. insane

It's Super Bowl week and Peyton Manning is the most famous player. 

Peyton Manning is...

1. the best

2. a douche

3. a choker

4. he married

So then I switched gears and went with a TV guy that I've never heard anyone say anything bad about, ESPN's Scott Van Pelt. 

Turns out, Google hates Scott Van Pelt too:

1. a douche

2. annoying

3. an idiot

4. a jerk

What about God's servant Tim Tebow, surely Google loves him, right?

1. a virgin

2. done

3. the antichrist

4. an idiot

Tebow's a virginal antichrist? That's a tough combo. 

What about Jesus, he's pretty well liked. 

What about "Jesus is..."

1. the reason for the season

2. savior

3. just alright 

4. God

Number three is my new favorite result.

What about the President? 

I went with a simple "Obama is" search because I figured most people couldn't spell Barack correctly:

1. a liar

2. gay

3. an idiot

4. a muslim

It looks like I've got White House company in the gay Muslim brigade!

After all this searching for men, all of whom were hated, I decided to go with women in the sports media.

I picked women I'm friends with and started with "Charissa Thompson is":

1. hot

2. she married

3. dating

4. annoying

Then Erin Andrews:

1. dating

2. ugly

3. hot

4. she married

But Tracy Wolfson's made me erupt in laughter:

1. hot

2. black

3. is she black

4. ugly

I love picturing the men at home on their computers Googling the marital status of attractive women on television. You know, just in case they ever run into each other. 

Women aren't hated as much, but they're objectified more. 

Your challenge, should you choose to accept it, is this -- and I know you'll accept it because you are pretending to work right now while reading Outkick -- find me a man on Google with entirely positive fill-ins after his name. 

Is there any man on earth that Google likes?

Even Jesus was "just alright." (Edit: Crowd Goes Wild's Kate Nolan told me this is a song and totally ruined what would have been an awesome joke). 

Can you find anyone?

Or does America hate every man -- and most women -- on the Internet. 

We need four positive autofill terms. 

Post your results below -- this will be fun. 


Written by
Clay Travis is the founder of the fastest growing national multimedia platform, OutKick, that produces and distributes engaging content across sports and pop culture to millions of fans across the country. OutKick was created by Travis in 2011 and sold to the Fox Corporation in 2021. One of the most electrifying and outspoken personalities in the industry, Travis hosts OutKick The Show where he provides his unfiltered opinion on the most compelling headlines throughout sports, culture, and politics. He also makes regular appearances on FOX News Media as a contributor providing analysis on a variety of subjects ranging from sports news to the cultural landscape. Throughout the college football season, Travis is on Big Noon Kickoff for Fox Sports breaking down the game and the latest storylines. Additionally, Travis serves as a co-host of The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show, a three-hour conservative radio talk program syndicated across Premiere Networks radio stations nationwide. Previously, he launched OutKick The Coverage on Fox Sports Radio that included interviews and listener interactions and was on Fox Sports Bet for four years. Additionally, Travis started an iHeartRadio Original Podcast called Wins & Losses that featured in-depth conversations with the biggest names in sports. Travis is a graduate of George Washington University as well as Vanderbilt Law School. Based in Nashville, he is the author of Dixieland Delight, On Rocky Top, and Republicans Buy Sneakers Too.