North Korea Forbids Tight Pants, Dyed Hair, Other 'Capitalistic Flare'

United States-based millennials would not fair well in North Korea. Bombs, internet restrictions and pixelated porn aside, North Korea is maybe most unwelcoming to Gen X because of their newfound restrictions on fashion.

More specifically, Kim Jong Un has banned tight pants, dyed hair, particular hair lengths, and clothing that features large foreign wording.

In other words, if your 19-year-old gets the weed-infused idea to spend spring break in North Korea, they'll have to leave the skinny jeans, Supreme hoodie and man bun at home.

Per Radio Free Asia (RFA), the country considers the above mentioned fashions "capitalistic," and does not want their country associated with such. They prefer, rather demand, to be aligned with socialism.

“The (Socialist Patriotic) youth league’s patrols are cracking down on young people who wear long hair down to their waists, and those who dye their hair brown, as well as people who wear clothes with large foreign letters and women who wear tight pants,” a source based in the city of Hamhung, who wished to remain anonymous, told RFA.

Per the RFA's report, the Socialist Patriotic Youth League regularly patrols, seeking young people dressed in "capitalistic flare," then punishing the offenders. “...The crackdown mainly targets women in their 20s and 30s. If they are caught, they are made to wait on the side of the road until the patrols can finish their crackdown in that area," a source told Radio Free Asia. "Only then will they be taken to the youth league office in the district, where they must write letters confessing their crimes. They must then contact someone at home to bring acceptable clothes for them, and then they are released."

The fashion-based punishment doesn't stop there. Sporting the wrong length of locks, dyed hair or a pair of crotch-compressing pants, often results in being reported to your employer. “If they are caught, the company they work for and the Socialist Patriotic Youth League will be notified," added the RFA's unnamed source. "They are then subject to criticism and in the most severe cases, the violator’s name, home address and workplace will be revealed publicly on (a public broadcast).”

If there's one positive takeaway from North Korea's non-sensical fashion policing, it's that dudes in tight jeans should be punished. Why don't we just go ahead and ditch the nut-huggers for the fellas in the states while we're at it?

Pants aside, North Korea's still awfully stiff.


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Anthony is a former high school basketball intramural champion who played a leading role in creating two offspring. He spends his weekends hoping for an MTV Rock N' Jock revival. Follow him on X (@OhioAF).