Nick Saban Hates All Of Us, Episode One Billion

One of the best things about Nick Saban is that it seems he genuinely hates everyone. Alabama fans, media, probably his waiters and waitresses, the guy he buys bait from before he goes fishing, basically if you exist and you aren't married to Nick Saban or one of his kids, I think he despises you. 

I can respect that. 

Lots of coaches hate everyone, but pretend to like them. 

Not Nick Saban. 

He just crushes people. 

If you doubt this, watch yesterday's press briefing for the Alabama media. Look at these death stares that Saban gives out when reporters have the absolute gall to ask him questions about players on his own team who played in the game Saturday. 

Don't you DARE ask a question about a player that Nick Saban doesn't want you to ask about. 

Credit to long time Alabama beat writer Cecil Hurt, a really funny follow on Twitter, for prefacing his AJ McCarron question by pointing out that AJ had been there a long time. While the question fulfilled Saban's question parameters, unfortunately Nick Saban doesn't want to talk about AJ McCarron's toe. Which he lets you know by the fourteenth death stare he uncorks.

The subtext to every Saban stare is clear, "If I thought I could get away with it right now I would choke you to death Darth Vader style and have my staff bury your body in the catacombs underneath my national title statue."

And if you're kind of laughing to yourself right now and thinking, "Clay's just kidding, there really aren't a bunch of people buried alive underneath Nick Saban's statue,"

Sure, laugh it up.

And why don't you show up at the next press conference and ask Nick Saban how his recruiting class is going.

But not before you've updated your will and told your family to expect you to disappear under mysterious circumstances.

Written by
Clay Travis is the founder of the fastest growing national multimedia platform, OutKick, that produces and distributes engaging content across sports and pop culture to millions of fans across the country. OutKick was created by Travis in 2011 and sold to the Fox Corporation in 2021. One of the most electrifying and outspoken personalities in the industry, Travis hosts OutKick The Show where he provides his unfiltered opinion on the most compelling headlines throughout sports, culture, and politics. He also makes regular appearances on FOX News Media as a contributor providing analysis on a variety of subjects ranging from sports news to the cultural landscape. Throughout the college football season, Travis is on Big Noon Kickoff for Fox Sports breaking down the game and the latest storylines. Additionally, Travis serves as a co-host of The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show, a three-hour conservative radio talk program syndicated across Premiere Networks radio stations nationwide. Previously, he launched OutKick The Coverage on Fox Sports Radio that included interviews and listener interactions and was on Fox Sports Bet for four years. Additionally, Travis started an iHeartRadio Original Podcast called Wins & Losses that featured in-depth conversations with the biggest names in sports. Travis is a graduate of George Washington University as well as Vanderbilt Law School. Based in Nashville, he is the author of Dixieland Delight, On Rocky Top, and Republicans Buy Sneakers Too.