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Which one of you stole a 3-foot, 40-pound dildo from a Vegas sex shop?
Cops are looking for a crook who stole the giant dildo and walked out of a Deja Vu shop. “This landmark item in our store is worth nearly $2,000, so if you happen to see a 3-foot penis sitting around, please turn in the 6-foot-tall dick who stole it. We can only hope that this thief finds Jesus and returns the item or the law finds him and throws him in prison where he belongs!”
The criminal crammed the schlong into a white car that could be a Dodge Caliber. Be on the lookout. You can't have criminals out on the streets swiping dildo statues. Society will start to crumble.