All that and a bag of mail: Ladies Edition

Every Friday, Clay answers your questions about sports and hot women. (You can read his latest mailbag here.) But Clay's knowledge about hot women is limited because he's not one. That's why OKTC is bringing you a weekly female voice. Hayley Frank and I will be taking turns answering your most important questions. We specialize in dating advice, tailgating, grooming etiquette, what to get your wife for her birthday, and top ten lists of the best (looking) NFL quarterbacks.

Ryan G asks: Clay is hilarious when writing with a thought process, how about his wit spur of the moment?

This will surprise no one, but 90% of my conversations with Clay are about strippers or fake boobs. He's well versed on these topics. For example, we once had a conversation where he defended implants as not being fake because no one says that knee replacements are fake knees. This, of course, totally ignores the fact that knees are fundamental but a girl rarely needs gravity defying full Ds to function properly. But he does have a point; silicone breasts are still real. They are just a different variety of breast. And Clay Travis is leading the movement to end implant discrimination. 

I realize that none of this answers your question but didn't you learn something? 

Andrew L asks: what is the worst and best pickup line you have ever heard?

For me, there is no such thing as a best pickup line, but Hayley likes to be sniffed.

Worst pickup lines do exist though. When I was in college, an older guy approached me on campus and said, I'm a plastic surgery resident and there's almost nothing I would change about you.

It's unclear what the desired response to this comment was... Thank you! A doctor? Do you have any, like, surgeries right now or do you want to hook up in my dorm room? Was I supposed to ask him what he would change so he could point out my flaws? Was this a novel method of generating new business? Regardless, I'm positive he did not get the answer he was looking for since my response was that he would look better with his original hairline. 

Mike T asks: If you both are stranded on a desert island with Clay, who "wins" his affection?


All jokes aside, the answer is whoever runs the slowest. 

This question reminds me of the repopulating the earth fantasy draft. You know, where you have to pick 5 people you would want to reproduce with to save mankind. That question only works for men because they just pick the hottest women. And they don't have to give birth. Picking men based on fame and attractiveness and then repopulating the earth with no doctors? No thanks. Besides, we all know how this worked out for Eve, who is the reason we aren't frolicking in the Garden of Eden. You aren't hanging that shit on me. 

HOWEVER, if I had to choose: an obstetrician, an anesthesiologist, a cook, a carpenter and a fabulous gay man to do my hair. Because you know what's sexy? A man with a purpose. Preferably one that comes in handy for me, the woman charged with repopulating the earth. 

Andy C asks: Can I buy you a bbq sandwich?

Yes you can. You're probably really busy so don't worry about bringing it over yourself. Just have it delivered to my house in an hour.

Written by
Clay Travis is the founder of the fastest growing national multimedia platform, OutKick, that produces and distributes engaging content across sports and pop culture to millions of fans across the country. OutKick was created by Travis in 2011 and sold to the Fox Corporation in 2021. One of the most electrifying and outspoken personalities in the industry, Travis hosts OutKick The Show where he provides his unfiltered opinion on the most compelling headlines throughout sports, culture, and politics. He also makes regular appearances on FOX News Media as a contributor providing analysis on a variety of subjects ranging from sports news to the cultural landscape. Throughout the college football season, Travis is on Big Noon Kickoff for Fox Sports breaking down the game and the latest storylines. Additionally, Travis serves as a co-host of The Clay Travis and Buck Sexton Show, a three-hour conservative radio talk program syndicated across Premiere Networks radio stations nationwide. Previously, he launched OutKick The Coverage on Fox Sports Radio that included interviews and listener interactions and was on Fox Sports Bet for four years. Additionally, Travis started an iHeartRadio Original Podcast called Wins & Losses that featured in-depth conversations with the biggest names in sports. Travis is a graduate of George Washington University as well as Vanderbilt Law School. Based in Nashville, he is the author of Dixieland Delight, On Rocky Top, and Republicans Buy Sneakers Too.