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Alabama Student Dangles COVID Steak In Dan Wolken’s Face

Dan Woken

Possibly sensing he was about to have a giant load of COVID gold dumped in his lap, USA Today reporter coronabro Dan Wolken did what any down-in-the-dirt reporter would do in the same circumstance. Woken asked the Alabama student where he could munch down on more of that COVID steak that the Bammer was dangling in his face.

“Student at Alabama here,” the prankster wrote on the email. “After reading your article about herd immunity, I have something you might want to look into. I have a friend on the football team who told me that a bunch of UA players had a COVID house party so they could get the virus and develop herd immunity earlier in the summer.

“You are welcome.”

That’s COVID steak served up like on a date night at Texas Roadhouse, pre-COVID of course, for Woken.

“Hi Charlie, I wouldn’t be surprised if that were true,” the bulldog reporter said in his reply, possibly sensing that giant COVID load being dumped on him from the Heaven’s above. Dan needed intel, fast! “Any details you know about that I could try to track down?” he asked.

Is it the greatest prank ever pulled by an SEC student? It’s not. We don’t get to the payoff pitch. The prank could’ve rolled forward with Dan calling a frat guy, who then (while recording) tells Dan some (fake) juicy nugget about Bryce Young wanting to be coughed on first to prove he’s a team leader. Point is, this could’ve gone much deeper.

At the very least this is cruel & unusual punishment to a coronabro. Woken must’ve been a mental mess for days thinking of how he was going to break the Alabama COVID house party news and what this would ultimately mean for the 2020 election.

Written by Joe Kinsey

I'm an Ohio guy, born in Dayton, who roots for Ohio State and can handle you guys destroying the Buckeyes, Urban Meyer and everything associated with Columbus.

2 Comments

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  1. I hope they did as they’d be fine. Why wouldn’t they? College demo is in more danger from the flu. The numbers are all out there.

    Remember Clemson had 37 positive 12 weeks ago. Probably nearly the entire team has by now and no reports of anything remotely serious.

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