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Alabama Fan Offers Unique Defense to Sex Crime Charges

Happy Thanksgiving. 

On this day of thanks, I’m happy for many things — my family, my job, the fact that I can live freely as a gay Muslim in America — but mostly I’m thankful for Alabama fans. 

Because they are truly the gift that keeps on giving. 

Freeman Jockisch — which sounds like the fakest name ever created — is a local Mobile, Alabama politician who was recently arrested and charged with sexual misconduct. Namely, pursuing a fifteen year old girl that he met on Craig’s List. 

Freeman says the charges are bogus. 

His defense is two-fold:

1. He was on Craig’s List looking for young girls to persuade them not to go on Craig’s List

(Honestly, who hasn’t gotten on Craig’s List and contacted underage girls to encourage them not to use Craig’s List?)

and

2. He’s impotent. 

If you don’t believe him about the impotence, you can ask Mrs. Jockisch, who it appears may soon be Mrs. ex-Jockisch.

When I showed Outkick editor Lori Kelly this video she said, “Most men would rather go to jail than say they were impotent in a local news interview.” 

Most men are not Freeman Jockisch. 

And you thought your Thanksgiving was going to be wild? Just be glad you aren’t in the Jockisch household this year. Unless you are. In which case I’m sorry.

The only thing missing in this interview was a Roll Tide and an Iron Bowl prediction about how bad Bama was going to beat up on Auburn. And you know Freeman was just aching to bust one out.

Happy Thanksgiving from Outkick to y’all.

(And especially to reader Wills Q. who saw this video and immediately emailed Outkick. He’s the real hero here.)

Written by Clay Travis

OutKick founder, host and author. He's presently banned from appearing on both CNN and ESPN because he’s too honest for both.