Alabama and Auburn Fans Continue to Duel for Dumbest Crown

As we continue to count down the dumbest fan bases in America, Alabama and Auburn refuse to go quietly into that good night.

First, an Alabama fan hand wrote a trash talk letter to the Texas A&M foundation the week of the Bama-A&M game. That letter, which you can read more about on Facebook here, is all world crazy. It includes a hand-clipped newspaper article — what is this, 1965? — replete with triple exclamation points on the newspaper article. There’s also no return address on the piece of mail. 

Seriously, who does this?

Simple, Bama fans. 

I used to work in a Congressional office when I was an undergrad and letters like this were terrifying and common. We had a crazy drawer in the congressman’s office where all the letters that were written like this would go. You’d be amazed how many people write to Congress by cutting out individual letters from the newspaper and creating their own ransom-type letters. 

Seriously, there are way too many crazy people in America. 

Not to be outdone with a crazy Bama letter, however, an Auburn undergrad was arrested for stealing a truck with a woman still inside it, ramming nine vehicles, and then attempting to flee the scene. 

Where did this happen?

Tigerland in Baton Rouge, the night before the football games. 

As if you needed more evidence of how awesome a weekend trip to Baton Rouge is. 

Here are more details:

Witnesses say the owner of the truck pulled up in the parking lot of the bar and got out of the vehicle. He left the truck running and a female passenger was sitting in a truck alone. Then, the suspect, Zachary Burgess, 20, of Hoover, Alabama, got in and tried to steal the vehicle.

“When he tried to flee the parking lot there were several cars blocking the way,” Cpl. Coppola said. “He began ramming into the parked cars.” 

The female in the vehicle was reportedly being held in the truck against will. She claims that Burgess “forcibly” held her captive in the truck.

“The passenger was able to jump out of the vehicle and get to safety,” Cpl. Coppola said.

Burgess allegedly struck a total of nine vehicles.

I’m sure he had a good excuse for why he’d do such a thing, right?

Maybe not. 

According to the police report, Burgess said that he did it because he “wanted to see what it was really like to play the video game Grand Theft Auto.”

Can you imagine being Burgess’s mom or dad when you got this telephone call?

Getting arrested on an SEC football weekend isn’t necessarily a huge shock, but getting arrested for stealing a car, kidnapping a woman, and ramming nine police cars?

Yeah, that’s unexpected. 

God bless Alabama and Auburn fans.

You continue to amaze all of us.


Written by Clay Travis

OutKick founder, host and author. He's presently banned from appearing on both CNN and ESPN because he’s too honest for both.