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It’s Friday, so grab your Blockbuster card, head on over to that beautiful blue and yellow building with the giant video tape in the front, and pick out your favorite Adam Sandler movie.
I’d go with Happy Gilmore, but we’ll get to that list in a bit.
Yes, it is Friday. No, it is unfortunately not 1998. Unless you’re already a few nightcaps in – not that there’s anything wrong with that (see the theme we’re going with yet?) – you probably already knew this.
So, what gives? Well, for starters, it’s my column, and if I want to write about Blockbuster video, I’m going to. But, there is A LOT of cinematic news going on right now, which is strange seeing as nobody goes to the movies anymore.
I mean, we have Cocaine Bear coming out TODAY, Adam Sandler (sort of) terrorizing people in a cookie monster outfit, more Lord of the Rings movies on the way for some reason, and yours truly also discovered the greatest social media account known to man which, yes, has to do with 1990s movies nostalgia.
So let’s hop in the DeLorean, make sure the flux capacitor is flipped on, set the cruise control to 88 MPH and dive into a throwback edition of Friday Nightcaps!
Where we’re going, we don’t need roads.
‘Adam Sandler’ is terrorizing people in a cookie monster costume
Ever meet someone with the same first name as you and you’re like, ‘Oh, that’s funny,’ and you two share a quick awkward laugh before moving on?
You know who’s definitely NOT doing that today? Adam Sandler, the movie star.
That’s because there’s a weirdo out in California – shocking! – who is apparently dressing up as the Cookie Monster from Sesame Street and harassing people on the streets.
According to Santa Cruz officials, a 59-year-old man identified as “Adam Sandler” is the creeper in the costume who is allegedly asking parents to pay him to pose for pictures with their kids.
While Adam Sandler has not yet committed a crime, officials are warning mom and dad to NOT let their kids pose with a random Sesame Street character in the middle of the street.
“We are getting calls from people who say he is ‘creepy,’” police spokeswoman Joyce Blaschke told The NY Post. “Based on his history, we advise the public to not engage with this individual. Steer clear from him.”
Gee, can’t imagine why!
Ranking the best Adam Sandler movies
Wild stuff here. I don’t understand why someone just doesn’t level this cat one time and call it a day? I know people in California by in large are generally softer than us Floridians (I mean, just look at our Governors!), but seems like a pretty simple solution, no?
I mean, look at this guy. Look at stupid fake Adam Sandler!
Anyway, talk about your bad luck when you share the exact same name as creepy stalker out in California who’s harassing people in a cookie monster costume.
Not great, Jerry!
Tough break for Adam Sandler, but we’re gonna pump him up a bit here by revealing my Mount Rushmore (sorry, Jalen Rose!) of Adam Sandler movies. This is the definitive list, so there’s really no arguing. Just listening.
- Happy Gilmore
- Billy Madison
- Anger Management
- Hubie Halloween
OK, that last one is a joke – although Hubie Halloween is a sneaky good Netflix movie with Kevin James in it, because apparently he’s contractually obligated to be in every third Sandler movie.
I think No. 4 would be Waterboy, although that’s more to appease the masses than anything. It’s a fine movie, but the accent just annoys me sometimes. People love it, so I can’t really leave it off the list.
Grown Ups, Uncut Gems, Big Daddy, Longest Yard, Chuck & Larry and that one murder mystery Netflix movie he’s in with Jennifer Aniston are all honorable mentions. Click wasn’t bad, but gets weirdly depressing at the end.
And that concludes the Adam Sandler portion of our Blockbuster trip.
Jason Witten robs Old Navy (kind of)
While we’re on the topic of unfortunate coincidences, let’s head on over to Texas, where one fella wearing a Jason Witten jersey is on the run after robbing an … Old Navy?
An Old Navy!
Hilarious. Not only did our guy here decide to rob an Old Navy, which I had no idea still existed, but he chose to wear a Jason Witten jersey on the big day?
Clearly he didn’t do any homework, either, because he couldn’t be more in the security camera’s line of vision if he tried. Might as well just go up to it and give it a big kiss.
PS: Jason Witten: great tight end, absolutely awful announcer. Truly terrible.
Happy Cocaine Bear Day!
Not saying Jason Witten could use a little cocaine to sound more alive, but I’m also not not saying that, either.
Anyway, Happy Cocaine Bear Day! The movie everyone and their mother have been talking about for months now – which is loosely based on a true story – comes out today, and people are PSYCHED.
It’s Cocaine Bear mania!
The film actually came out a tad bit early Thursday night for those who just couldn’t wait till Friday to watch a coked up grizzly, and it raked in over $2 million on Night 1! Not bad, frankly.
We have our opening Rotten Tomatoes score, too, and … we have a sold 71% on the Tomatometer and 81% audience score. Again, not bad for Cocaine Bear!
Here’s the trailer, followed by a couple quickie reviews I pulled out of the social media machine.
I mean, I’m obviously in on Cocaine Bear. You should be, too. I’m certainly not going to the theatre to watch it, but I’ll stream the hell out of that bad boy in a few months when it comes out.
Or, you know, I’ll wait until the fall when it hits the shelves at Blockbuster. Either-or.
Nostalgia Video is the best thing going on Facebook
Yes, I know. Only old people go on Facebook, blah blah blah.
Guess what? I LOVE Facebook. Way less toxic than Twitter, and just a tad (a tad) less intrusive than TikTok. I use Facebook to see which one of my high school friends gets knocked up next, to find cool dinner ideas, and to watch awesome commercials from the 80s and 90s.
Which brings me to my next point: I recently discovered a page called Nostalgia Video, which is literally just a bunch of retro commercials from the 1990s that you’ll get lost in if you’re into that stuff.
Apparently, the page is run by a guy called Nick, who says he built an entire video store in his basement five years ago to store his giant VHS collection.
And if you grew up going to Blockbuster Video like every other kid from 1988-2005, you’ll appreciate the hell out of this.
Incredible. You can almost smell that room, can’t you? Blockbuster always smelled amazing. Don’t know what it was, but it was electric.
Man, this day in age sucks. I feel so sorry for my 1-year-old. She’s not even going to come close to experiencing the joy I experienced growing up.
Anyway, here are a couple recent posts that’ll bring a tear to your eye on this final weekend of February. RIP, Blockbuster Video.
Olivia Dunne’s sister knows she’s up against it
Rapid fire time on our way to pick out a movie and pray to God if it’s not on the shelf it’s in the tiny ‘return’ bin behind the register.
Can’t have a Friday nightcap without OutKick fan favorite Olivia Dunne, who’s been on one recently. Dunne called out a weirdo last week who asked her to crush his skull with her thighs (yep), and even took on a body-shamer last Sunday.
But this ain’t about Olivia Dunne. It’s about her older sister, Julz Dunne!
As they say in the news world, Hayley Caronia has the latest:
Hell, who knew Olivia Dunne’s older sis was funny? Who knew she had an older sister? I guess that’s the whole point of the TikTok account, right?
Look, I think we probably do a little too much Olivia Dunne around here, and I’m guilty of it, too. Hey, we need to put dinner on the table, though. Sorry, but clicks are clicks are clicks.
That being said, I’m all for expanding our horizons and making Olivia Dunne’s older sister, Julz, a star. If that’s what gets Nightcaps on the map, I’ll include her in every damn story. I ain’t above it. I’ve done way worse.
On that note, here are a couple banger pictures of Julz to take you into the weekend. And hey, let’s go out and have ourselves a Friday night!
OutKick Nightcaps is a daily column set to run Monday through Friday at 4 p.m. (roughly, we’re not robots).
Have some Blockbuster memories or (stupidly) disagree with my Adam Sandler list? Email me at Zach.Dean@OutKick.com.