The Gripe Report: QR Menus, Backpack Guys And 'Amazing'

I like, a lot of you, was kicking back and watching the first round of the NFL Draft on Thursday night.

Although, by that I mean, I had OutKick's draft coverage (big company guy right here) opened on my girlfriend's iPad while the TV in the living room was used for watching the Stanley Cup Playoffs.

However, I did flip over to watch the very start of the draft including its anticlimactic first-overall pick, but there was something that proved to be proper Gripe Report fodder.

Have a gripe? We all know you do! Send it in! (matthreigleoutkick.com)

The NFL did a good job of getting fans fired up by kicking things off with Eminem and a bunch of Lions alumni. Everyone was buzzing, then the Bears logo appears on stage and the crowd erupts into massive boos.

Incredible scenes… then we had to sit there for 10 minutes while Chicago is on the clock.

There's no reason the team with the first-overall pick needs to go on the clock. If they don't show up prepared, then that's on them. They should show up with the first pick ready to go, and then yield back their time to the football-loving public. 

Especially this year, when I’m fairly certain my mom was even well aware of who the Bears were going to pick, and she doesn't even watch football. I mean they already had Caleb Williams throwing passes to Keenan Allen! We've pretty much known that Caleb Williams was Chi-Town bound since the Bears secured the first pick, and it was a done deal when they traded Justin Fields.

So, why kill the buzz by making everyone sit around and twiddle their thumbs for no reason? Goodell should have wandered out on that stage with the Bears' pick in his pocket from the jump, to keep the excitement going, and then it can all die down while the Commanders make their pick, but frankly, they should have had their pick ready to go too.

Maybe someone at the NFL is a Gripe Report reader (I think we need a name for all of us. Gripers? Gripe-ies? Very good-looking and smart ladies and gentlemen?). Then we can get this fixed for next year. I'd appreciate it.

Anyway, let's get to your gripes! We'll start with a gripe that piggybacks off of one from last week's Gripe Report…

QR menus may seem futuristic, but "futuristic" isn't a synonym for "good." (Getty Images)

QR Menus

Last week we talked about the need for restaurants to have a digital version of their menu so that you can peruse before you arrive.

But there’s another side to this: yes, the digital menus are great beforehand, but they’re not a good replacement for good ol’-fashioned paper menus like the pioneers used.

I had two people send in similar gripes on this subject. First up is Jason in Michigan:

I want to piggyback on Dave in Cleveland's gripe about the lack of an online menu and add that I am highly annoyed with restaurants who have adopted the "scan this QR code for our menu" as their only source of accessing this information.  I haven’t seen A LOT of it, but a couple places around my hometown have put this into place exclusively since they originally rolled it out during the first year of COVID.  There are a few reasons why I’m bothered by this, but it’s mostly a point of principle.  I know the restaurant owner is in business to make a buck, but if I’m gonna drop a C-note to go out to dinner and have a few drinks, the least they can do is provide the damn menu in printed form.

…

I never considered this until Jason brought it up, but we’re approaching a point where you’ll be able to suss out a nice restaurant from a dump based on whether or not they offer a physical menu.

We all understand the economics of it, but if the menu budget puts your restaurant out of business, there were probably other issues at play that not even John Taffer could have saved you from.

I thought the QR was the wave of the future at first, but now I loathe them too. First of all, they sometimes don’t work, and if you’re out to eat with a group, you’ll have to play Geek Squad for the less-tech-savvy members of your party.

Plus, I like that the menu's function as a restaurant semaphore to pass messages to your server. If I have my nose buried in the menu, I’m trying to decide if I want to play it safe and go with a burger or see if this joint can stick the dismount with ribs. Once I lay that menu down, they know I’m ready to get down to business.

With the phone, they have no clue if I’m trying to make up my mind, texting someone, or setting my fantasy football lineup.

I also like that rounding up and handing the menus back signifies that the ordering phase of the meal is over.

Aaaaaand now let’s let Tom in Houston take an at-bat:

While I expect a restaurant to have an online menu so I can plan my attack ahead of time, it also bothers me when I go to a place and they ONLY have online menus - I have to scan a code to view it on my phone.  A standard menu page is generally about the size of 4-5 phone screens, and is much easier to read and navigate.

I get it, good menus are costly to print, a pain to maintain, and generally one of the dirtiest things you can touch in a restaurant.  Read a couple industry articles, and you may never want to touch one again.  I don't care, I want to have a menu I can hold in my hand and look at, rather than spending more time with my phone.  It's probably cleaner than my phone - when is the last time you washed yours?  Either way, I can wash my hands after I order.  Just give me a real menu.

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The last time I washed my phone was right after I read, Tom’s email. Honestly, the cleanliness of your phone is one of those situations where ignorance truly is bliss.

But still, thanks Tom for the reminder to wipe my phone down, and you’re also bang-on with menus.

Having everything out in front of you at once is another perk. I find myself getting lost with the digital menus sometimes. There are sometimes so many different tabs and drop-down menus I can’t remember where things are. The old-school menus solve that problem.

On top of visibility, I like that menus are a more tactile experience. Physical menus are to dining out what vinyl records are to music.

Sure, you’re accomplishing the same basic task, but isn’t dropping the needle infinitely more satisfying than clicking play on Spotify?

Of course, it is. Long live analog menus.

This one could split the room: should guys be using backpacks or should you only carry what can fit in your pockets. (Getty Images)

Backpack Guys

We’ve been doing The Gripe Report for a few weeks and I think this could prove to be the most controversial gripe to date.

Take it away, Bebe:

It really confuses and annoys me when I see a grown adult man walking about life with a damn backpack. What in the name of hiking through the jungle of downtown suburbia is in these purses on steroids? How much do you really need to carry with you when you leave your house to go to a job (or not) that requires literally nothing but you being present? They take up space, it always seems like a Broadway production when Mighty Mouse has to take it off, and once they swing their arms like a Swiftie to put their two-strapping luggage over their never mowed a lawn shoulders it's like there's zero acknowledgment that space other than it exists.

Can we not normalize an accessory barely acceptable for children anymore? The goal for a man should be to leave with the LEAST amount of items, not a mobile workshop of random assorted items (including attracting a mate repellant).

Keys, wallet, and phone (which anymore are one and the same). Smokes and lighter. Men have the one thing in all our outfits that makes women jealous: POCKETS!!! Use them! And unless you're going to live in the Outback, ditch the backpack!

…

Damn, yo. The backpack gauntlet has been thrown down…

I think I see the argument here to a degree. I think backpacks are fine if you’re headed to the airport or need to carry stuff to work or the gym, but you do see a lot of dudes throwing on backpacks these days when they’re not necessary.

As Bebe pointed out, when you leave your house, 90 percent of the time you won’t need anything other than your phone, wallet, and keys. A Bic and some lung darts if you're still doing that, sure, and I guess you could add a firearm if you’re authorized to carry one (always good to make sure you know where it is), but that’s about it.

You will just see backpack guys walking around for no reason. I immediately assume a lot of them are selling drugs, but I have no idea. I just know that they’re not going on an expedition down the Amazon.

Be sure to send me your backpack takes, but try to keep it civil. I feel like this topic could leave some of you with bruised egos to go with those sore backpack shoulders: mattreigleoutkick@gmail.com

Here’s a quick mini-gripe off of something Bebe mentioned: I hear this gripe about ladies' clothes not having pockets quite a bit. On plenty of occasions, I’ve thrown my girls’ phone in my pocket because I’m what you call a gentleman.

But if so many women are annoyed by this, why are they not putting pockets on things? I imagine it has something to do with collusion between pants manufacturers and the big handbag lobby, but it seems like a pretty easy fix, gals.

I'm not sure how to represent people overusing he word "amazing" so here's a photo of a guy who looks like he's being amazed by something. Could be anything. (Getty Images)

Over Use Of ‘Amazing’ And Other Hyperbolic Language

Chris has a gripe that never really crossed my mind but now I notice it constantly and even had to stop myself from doing it in both my writing and just while speaking to people: overusing the word "amazing."

The floor is yours, Chris:

STOP SAYING AMAZING WHEN YOU MEAN SOMETHING ELSE.

Saying "amazing" is for when you’re amazed…meaning surprised or awed. 

The Blue Angels do that barrel roll while only a few feet apart at the speed of sound? That’s amazing.

A fresh-baked cookie? Not amazing, since that’s pretty much what you expected.

"Honey, you look amazing" means "You usually look like s--t, and I can’t believe how good you look right now."

"This food is amazing" means "I thought this would be awful, but it’s delicious."

"He’s an amazing guitar player" means you can’t believe he’s actually good.

"You’re an amazing [whatever your field of endeavor]" means "I didn’t think you could be any good at it, but I’m surprised."

Beautiful. Delicious. Skilled. Talented. Hard-working and successful. All of these are better and more descriptive and more accurate. 

Thus endeth the lesson. Thank you for your attention. You’re an amazing audience. (See how stupid that sounds?)

Best,

Chris

…

I think Chris is right. We need to rein it in.

He’s right when we want to say "amazing" there are tons of other words we could be using. Have you ever read old letters people have written over the years? I’m not talking about letters written by legendary writers, but even ones from Civil War soldiers who were just writing home to say "sup?" to their chick. They have incredible control of the language and use words that people haven’t used in decades.

I think the internet is largely to blame as are those of us who grew up with it. I mean, at this point, someone will share a picture or video of a cat eating a banana and they’ll share it with the caption, "This is literally everything!"

No. It isn’t.

I can’t stand that kind of rampant hyperbole, and this gripe made me realize I want to join the fight to combat it.

No longer will everyday things be amazing, and I love the idea that the bar for amazingness is Blue Angels barrel-rolling in close proximity with one another.

Now, that is amazing.

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That's all for this edition of The Gripe Report! A good time was had by all as per usual, and be sure to keep those gripes coming!: mattreigleoutkick@gmail.com.