The Woke Associated Press Targets Leaf Blowers With Ridiculous Argument
Here we go again with the woke nerds telling us we shouldn't be allowed to use gas-powered leaf blowers.
The gardening nerd columnist lady, Jessica Damiano, at the Associated Press is out with a column where she targets gas-powered leaf blowers – as if that's a new concept – and then provides readers with advice on how they should "ask" their landscaping companies to use electric equipment.
"If enough people do that, the demand will hopefully effect change," Damiano writes.
BOOM, the planet is saved.
Jessica dumps out the typical arguments from the anti-gas powered leaf blower crowd:
- Noise!
- OMG, pollution!
- Jessica actually argues you're blowing "animal feces into the air that we (and insects and wildlife) breathe."
- Soil erosion!
- You might kill or injure a pollinator!
- Think about the birds!
In the next paragraph, Jessica tells readers to use a rake –- or buy a battery leaf blower. The Associated Press presumably paid Jessica for this column.
Wait, if I use a battery leaf blower it won't blow animal feces into the air, it won't cause soil erosion, it won't injure or kill a pollinator and it won't hurt the birds?
Sold!
Look, it's Monday and I'm really not in the mood for Jessica's shit, so let me be the voice of reason here. The typical modern homeowner isn't going to Lowe's, Home Depot or Menards and buying a gas-powered leaf blower these days.
They're buying a Ryobi leaf blower (if you look around, Ryobi will run deals where the leaf blower is ‘free’ with the purchase of the battery because Ryobi knows, like a drug dealer knows, that once you're brand loyal, you'll be addicted and required to buy more Ryobi products) and then switching out the five batteries they have to run all their other Ryobi battery-powered tools.
The typical new homeowner in the U.S. isn't buying a gas-powered leaf blower because they don't know how to mix the fuel and it's a pain in the ass to them to figure out the choke and getting the tool started.
In other words, Jessica is attacking private businesses with her Associated Press column. She could just come out and say she'd love to force businesses, like they did in California, to buy battery-powered equipment. Maybe she'd also like to jail people who use gas-powered leaf blowers like what was proposed in Washington.
As the commissioner of the Thursday Night Mowing League, I will once again provide readers with the stance of the league:
Come and take it.
Shall I remind the Washington state residents that the Democrat who proposed rules that would jail violators sells gas-guzzling SUVs for a living? The people who propose these ridiculous rules are typically frauds. They want to propose something that sounds cool to friends when they're at cocktail parties. Meanwhile, on Wednesdays, their landscaping companies stop by to make their yards beautiful.
If you want to buy a battery-powered Ryobi or Kobalt blower, go for it. If you want to refurbish a Stihl gas-powered beast to use in your yard, go for it. The market will take care of itself.
The last thing we need is the inept government claiming it has the world's best interests at heart and it starts with what leaf blower is in your garage. It's all a lie. Don't fall for it.
Want to tell me I'm an idiot? Do you want to share your thoughts on landscaping?
Email: joekinsey@gmail.com