The Gripe Report: Pronouns, Airplane Snacks, And Full-Service Movie Theaters

I live in Florida, so it feels like summer most of the time, but across the country, it's really starting to heat up which means it's time to bust out the grills.

Man, I love grilling. There's nothing quite like cracking a beer (which my dad taught me as a safety measure in the event of flare-ups… I'm not sold on that, I just like beer) and throwing some meat on the grill.

The only problem is I live in an apartment complex, meaning I have to use communal grills to sear some grill marks into steaks, burgers, dogs, and whatever other meaty goodness I can get my paws on.

This isn't a huge deal, but my fellow residents have no idea how to use grills.

Have a gripe your wife/girlfriend/significant other is sick of hearing about? Send it in!: mattreigleoutkick@gmail.com.

These are Hank Hill-approved propane grills, and this is where the problem comes in.

Sure, gas grills are way easier to use, but these use a timer to turn on the gas. I, like everyone, turn the timer on way longer than I'm going to need it, but when I'm done, I turn it off like a civilized human being.

I have my suspicions that others do not do this, because on more than one occasion I have wandered across the complex with a plate full of perfectly seasoned steaks ready to get a nice sear on them only to discover someone used up the remnants of the propane tank.

What drives me to the point of being thrown in a padded cell is that this is an easy fix. There's a grocery store directly across the street that sells propane. Someone from the apartment complex needs to zip over and swap out the tanks and we're literally back to cooking with gas.

They did not do this, and instead told us that when this issue was brought to management's attention that they were waiting on a shipment… of propane tanks… three of them.

Just madness. This housing market needs to work itself out so I can get my dog a yard and more importantly, a place to grill without this nonsense.

Anyway, enough of my griping (wait, that's not true), let's see what we've got this week.

Who would've thought that one of the most dull parts of speech could become so unnecessarily pervasive in our culture? (Getty Images)

Pronouns In Email Signatures

This is one of those gripes that I can’t believe we’re only getting to now.

Give ‘em hell, Ryan: 

New gripe is people putting their "preferred pronouns" in their email signature.  Like, come on.  Please just announce your insanity and unprofessionalism to everyone and then we get to tiptoe around it.  Sure, if you work for a political group, knock yourself out.  If you work for a place that sells nuts & bolts then please just stop!  I’ve got opinions on damn near everything but I’m not entitled enough to just slap that in my official company email signature.  

…

Oh boy, this is a biggie.

I think Ryan hit the bullseye on this one. If you’re into the pronoun thing go crazy, but it is completely bizarre how this became common practice at many places.

You don’t need to put your pronouns in your email. If someone uses the wrong pronoun you should either 1) Let it go, or 2) Politely correct them, at which point most people would respect that, and that’s the end of it.

People entering conversations — either digitally or in person — by announcing their pronouns feels about as dystopian as it gets. It’s just strange and almost like people forgot how to be humans.

I never got the obsession with pronouns either. It’s gotten so out of hand that there are people more obsessed with pronouns than even Rufus Xavier Sasparilla was.

Pronouns are dull. If you want to obsess over a part of speech go for verbs or adverbs or maybe adjectives.

Those are all well and good, but I was always more of a conjunction man myself.

(If you read that out without singing "Conjunction Junction, what’s your function?" you have more willpower than I do).

You've got to think twice about your airplane snacks unless you want to be "that guy" who brought the funk onboard the Southwest flight. (Getty Images)

Airplane Snacks

OutKick betting guru Geoff Clark hit me up on X to give his take on airplane snacks.

However, he wasn’t complaining. That’s right, it wasn’t a gripe, it was a hype!

I’m with Geoff on Combos (although I’m more of a cheddar man myself). You can’t go wrong with pretzels in most situations, and when you stuff them full of cheese and other kinds of goodness it’s impossible to lose.

I'm usually a snacks in the terminal guy because I can't stand the prices they charge for onboard snacks that aren't that weird party mix that tastes like salty potpourri.

I'm not a big government intervention guy, but someone needs to do something about airlines charging practically double for a bag of chips just because we're in the sky.

Anyway, back to Combos…

I love them, but I will say, however, that anything cheese-flavored is toeing the line of decency when it comes to onboard snack odor.

I think you’re in the clear with combos or Cheez-It (there’s no "s" at the end, which feels wrong, but they didn’t ask me) or Goldfish, but you’re pushing it. Those are all well and good out in the open but when you’re in a pressurized tube at 30,000 feet and the air starts recirculating, there could be a bit of funk.

And trust me, you do not want to be the guy (or girl, ladies you’re not innocent here) who brings the food funk onboard.

No one likes a funk-bringer (unless it's Bootsy Collins… but that's different).

To this point, we need to address pungent foods in all shared spaces.

Speaking of which…

Full-service movie theaters with servers sound great, but have they lost their luster? (Getty Images)

Full-Service Movie Theaters

No one wrote this in, but I went to see Kingdom of the Planet of the Apes last night and I feel like it goes hand-in-hand with food funk on airplanes.

I went to one of those full-service movie theaters where they have servers that bring you food and drinks throughout the movie. I feel like those used to be a novelty, but now most of the theaters near me have that as an option.

I'm torn on the concept. I get it, but I don't like servers constantly walking past me to refill people's Tequila Thursday $10 margaritas. Plus, like on an airplane, you've got people who ignore the rules of food funk.

Burgers, popcorn, and chicken fingers are one thing, but this place was doing Brussels sprouts, fish and chips, and shrimp jambalaya. I love all of that food, but it's too pungent for a movie theater setting.

This is especially the case with the seating at places like this. They go with the couch recliners. First of all, are we that lazy as a society that we can't stomach regular theater chairs for two hours? Trust me, nothing makes you feel like a slob quite like being in a reclined position with your feet practically above your head while some high school kid (who you have tip by the way) puts the cheesesteak you ordered on a tray that practically swivels right to your face. You barely even have to move your arms to eat.r

Give me a regular theater seat every day of the week. Those were perfectly fine for 90+ years.

…Having said that the food was surprisingly good.

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That's it for this week, ladies and gentlemen. Keep those emails a-coming!: mattreigleoutkick@gmail.com.